Fruits Salad
by PikaChica
Summary: Little Furuba stories that I've written on a whim.  Most will be funny, but there might be a few serious ones.   Will cover most of the main characters.  Enjoy, and review as much as you want!
1. Monkeying Around

**A/N: Hey guys! It's been so long since I've last written something! I've recently gotten hopelessly obsessed with Fruits Basket, so I just had to write a story. This time I'm taking a different approach and writing a bunch of drabbles. So, if anyone has an idea for a chapter, just say the word and I'll try my best! And by the way, if you've just seen the anime, some of these might not make sense (Personally, I didn't like the anime, but that was probably because I read the book series first). **

**And, without further ado…**

**Disclaimer: Oh Mogeta…. If only I was the one who created you….**

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><p>Down at the local supermarket, a young mother struggled with the grocery shopping. The cart she was pushing had a broken wheel that was making it swivel drunkenly down each aisle, barely avoiding product displays and other shoppers. The woman was trying to dig her loudly ringing cell phone out of her purse, at the same time reaching for the last box of instant oatmeal (on the top shelf, of course). She had stepped in a big wad of gum that was making her uncomfortable high heel stick to the floor, and she was terribly late.<p>

Amidst this scene of chaos, her seven-year-old son was charging up and down the aisle, waving his plastic airplane around and making the appropriate fighter jet noises.

"Neeeerrrooowww! BOOSH! Mmmmmaaaaaarrrr! BOOM! BOOM! Oh no! They're getting closer! Kkksh! Roger that! Kkksssh!"

The little boy then started climbing up the shelves of colorful breakfast cereal.

"Higher! Higher! Lose them in the clouds!"

That was when the boy's mom snapped.

"Get down from there right this instant! You should be ashamed of yourself, young man! Stop being such a little monkey!"

Before the abashed child could reach his mom's side, a blur of pink whizzed by him and threw itself at his mother's feet.

"I'M SOOOO SOOOOORRY! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON! I APOLOGIZE TO THE WHOLE WOOOORLD!"

It took three of the grocery store's staff and a cashier to calm down the strange kimono-wearing man.

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><p><strong>Gosh I HATE grocery carts with messed up wheels…. Anyways, love it? Hate it? Want more? Tell me in a review!<strong>


	2. Twisted Coincidence

**A/N: I Just couldn't resist with this one…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. But I will own Kyo. Someday…. Mwahahahaha….**

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><p><em>Buzzz…..Buzzz…..Buzzz…..Buzzz…..<em>

Haru's phone vibrated in his pocket. Slowly, he took it out and flipped it open, bringing it to his ear. He seemed a bit dazed.

"….. Yo."

"Haru? Hey. It's Rin. How'd it go?"

"Huh…..?

"The _job_. Did you get a job?"

"Yeah….. I got one….."

"Then what's bugging you? Aren't you happy?"

"….."

"Haru? Are you still there?"

"I got….. a job as the guy in the cow suit at Chick-Fil-A."

Shishou was very perplexed and more than a little concerned when he found a hysterically laughing Rin on the floor.

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><p><strong>Heh. I can totally picture that. Don't forget to review!<strong>


	3. Not a Nugget

**A/N: This drabble is sort of a continuation of the last one.**

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><p>"Hey Yun-Yun! Did you hear about Kureno?"<p>

Yuki glared at Shigure, but his curiosity outweighed his irritation at being called Yun-Yun.

"No, I don't believe I have. Did something happen?"

The corners of Shigure's mouth twitched upwards as he blew on his cup of tea.

"Kureno attacked Haru." The writer said nonchalantly.

"_Kureno?_ _Kureno_ attacked Haru? What could that cow possibly have done to provoke him?"

Shigure grinned and gazed dreamily off into the distance, clearly enjoying the memory.

"Well, over at the Chick-Fil-A Haru works at, there were a group of vegetarians protesting. They were handing out these stickers that had pictures of cartoon chickens on them, and said "I am not a nugget!" in bold letters."

Yuki shook his head slowly.

"I can see where this is headed."

"So Haru, that mischievous little imp, he took a whole roll of the stickers and stuck them all over the door to Kureno's room," Shigure giggled, "Kureno gave him a black eye before they were pulled apart. Didn't know he had it in him!"

"That idiot." Yuki tried to hide his smile.

Shigure rose from the table and sauntered towards the door.

"I'm off to go have an "I am not a nugget!" T-shirt printed! Toodle-oo!"

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><p><strong>AN: Shigure, Shigure, Shigure… what are we going to do with you? By the way, that's an actual sticker! I think it's made by PETA, or something, so I don't own it or anything.**

**Funny? Not funny at all? Terrible? Review!**


	4. Enough to Drive You Crazy

**A/N: Oh dear... Those last two chapters seemed much better late at night when I posted them. I just reread them now and they aren't very good at all... Ah, well, too bad for me. I shouldn't be so careless. This drabble is a big improvement over the last two, so you can all sigh in releif now. **

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><p><em>Hiro sat defiantly in a hard plastic chair, the kind that schools always have a plethora of. Chin held high and arms crossed, he waited silently, sneering at anyone who dared to make eye contact. Every few minutes, his eyes would flick over to the clock and he would give an impatient huff.<em>

Honestly, what in the world is that man doing? I've been waiting for nearly fifteen minutes!

_An auburn-haired, bespectacled lady poked her head out of an office. _

_"Hiro Sohma? The principal is ready to see you now."_

_Hiro rose out of his seat, an air of haughtiness and distaste swirling around his little middle school body._

_"It's about time. Are you trying to waste precious minutes of my class time? What if I fall behind? What if I flunk all my tests because I wasn't there to learn the material? It'll be all your fault if I fail 7__th__ grade." He pointed an accusing finger at the bewildered woman for emphasis._

_The office secretary was appalled._

_"Young man, that is no way to talk to your teachers! You need to be more respectful to –"_

_"Respectful? Maybe I would be more respectful if the so called 'teachers' of this faulty education system instilled in the students the values of a good citizen."_

_The secretary actually stamped her foot in frustration._

_"How _dare_ you call this education faulty! Maybe if kids like you made more of an effort-"_

_Hiro sighed dramatically and shook his head in mock sadness._

_"And now you're blaming me for the shockingly large flaws in this school's teaching practices. Are you also pinning the incompetence and apathy of the senseis on me? Are you using a mere child as the scapegoat for all your fears and insecurities as well? Are you taking out your anger and disappointment from becoming an undervalued, underpaid school secretary on a little kid? How inconsiderate and irrational."_

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><p>An auburn-haired, ex-office secretary lay on a psychiatrist's couch, box of yellow pastel tissues in hand. She sniffed forlornly and wiped her eyes.<p>

The shrink sat next to her, scribbling furiously on his legal pad and furrowing his brow.

"So you say this incident was the start of your self-doubt and feelings of inferiority?"

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><p><strong>AN: Out of all the characters, Hiro is probably the most fun to play with! Although, I must say, Hanajima is a close second. REVIEW! I'M BEGGING YOU! **


	5. Faux Pas

**A/N: It's Tohru and Rin, ever the best of friends!**

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><p>"Hello Isuzu-san! I haven't seen you in a while!"<p>

Tohru was at a Sohma barbeque (Momiji called it "the Super Fantabulous Amazing Zodiac Cookout!"). It was just a little get together to celebrate the start of summer vacation, attended by most of the Sohmas. Akito was the only part of the Zodiac who was not present, for he was sick in bed with a cold.

Rin tried to slink away, but Tohru tackled her into a hug before she could make her getaway.

"Don't you just love summer, Isuzu-san? Going to the beach, relaxing with friends, time off from school… isn't it wonderful?"

"Whatever," Rin grunted, "Just get off of me!"

Tohru wasn't fazed.

"Mmmmm! You know it's summertime when the air smell like charcoal!"

Rin muttered something unintelligible.

"I wonder if the food is ready? I'm so hungry I could eat a horse-" Tohru saw the look on her friend's face and tried desperately to back-pedal, "-shoe… crab…"

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><p><strong>AN: Watch what you say veeeery carefully around the Zodiac…. And remember to review! **


	6. Magnified

**A/N: I wasn't really planning on this one. My fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they typed.**

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><p>Rain pounded on the roof. The dull roar seemed to rise in volume until it became a scream, reverberating in the emptiness of the damp room. Water dripped methodically from a tiny crack in the ceiling. With each drop that hit the floor, it sounded as if a hammer was being slammed into the bare concrete. In reality, it made only a soft splash.<p>

_Drip, drop._

_SMASH. CRASH._

_They are the same._

A slim, pitiful form lay trembling in a corner, weeping softly. Every few minutes, its body would be wracked with deep, uncontrollable coughing fits. The room felt as cold as the farthest reaches of the infinite universe, when really, it was the same temperature as the rest of the house. But in such a dark and loveless room, they feel exactly alike.

_Drip, drop._

_SMASH. CRASH._

_They are the same._

With the passing of countless hours, the puddle of rainwater gradually grew larger. At one point, it licked the edges of the child's heels, then up to the knees, then stomach. After what seemed like forever but also the blink of eye, for time is irrelevant in such places of never ending misery, the water had crept up to the little boy's head. He did not move, nor did he have any intention of doing so. In his mind, the puddle was a giant ocean, covering the surface of the entire world, with depths unfathomable and horrors aplenty.

_Drip, drop._

_SMASH. CRASH._

_They are the same._

Why would the boy move to escape such an ocean?

_Drip, drop._

_SMASH. CRASH._

_They are the same._

Because in his mind, he had already drowned.

_Drip, drop._

_SMASH. CRASH._

_They are the same._

Not that drowning would be any different than being alive in that ocean. Why?

_They are the same._

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><p><strong>AN: Did I make the identity of the little boy clear enough? Tell me in a review if you did or didn't understand.**


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